Love Ain't Here Anymore
by ilikegoo
Summary: Derek comes to Seattle and comes face to face with the love of his life, the only problem is due to an argument in the past and one big misunderstanding she isn't sure she feels the same way. Can MerDer find away back to each other or is it too late? AU
1. Love Ain't Here Anymore

A/N I had another story in mind, but couldn't quite get it on to paper so I thought I'd try this. It's a little different and at first some characters may appear to be a little out of character but things will change I promise, any feedback and thoughts will be welcome. The title of this story is a song by Take That and all the titles of the chapters are also Take That songs (I really recommend them, but I can't forgive them for taking Robbie Back). Also note, that whilst some of the Mercy Westers are in this story, I refuse to call it Seattle Grace Mercy West, cus it sounds wrong.

**Love Ain't Here Anymore**

"I'm glad we could have you join the staff here Derek, I think it'll make you very happy." Richard Webber shook the hand of Dr Derek Shepherd, new head of Neurosurgery at Seattle Grace Hospital.

"I'm glad to be here Richard." Derek accepted the lab coat from Richard and followed him out of the office on his tour of Seattle Grace.

They had visited the ER, the OR's, the ICU and other locations around the hospital and were now on their way from the OR's up to the floor which contained Derek's office when two female doctors entered the elevator mumbled a hello to the chief not noticing the new doctor leaning against the wall in the corner of the elevator. Derek, who had recognised one of the doctors, decided to speak up "Are you not even going to say hello Meredith?"

Meredith Grey felt her blood run cold at the sound of his voice and span around quickly "You have got to be kidding me!" she exclaimed, Cristina and the chief looked at the pair, one of whom was smiling and other staring at him furiously.

"I mean seriously chief! Of all the people you could've hired, you hire him!" Meredith yelled.

"You know each other?" The chief questioned.

"Mer?" Cristina asked

"Of course I know her Richard, I used to be married to her." Derek replied smugly.

The elevator dinged and Meredith, closely followed by Cristina.

"You married McDreamy?" Cristina said as soon as they had sat down in the attendings lounge.

"McWho?"

"McDreamy, that guy in the elevator, claiming to be your hus..."

"EX-husband and yes I did."

"Have you two seen Dr Shepherd?" Izzie Stevens walked in to the room

Meredith put her head against the wall and groaned.

"I'm assuming that McDreamy is Shepherd." Cristina said, trying to hide her amusement.

"McDreamy...I like, it fits." Izzie nodded.

"He's anything but dreamy." Meredith snapped.

"Ok, what have I missed."

"Mer used to be married to McDreamy."

"You were married?" Izzie sounded shocked.

"Seriously? Do you think my kids just appeared like I'm the Virgin freaking Mary?"

"Marriage isn't required to have kids Mer." Izzie pointed out.

"They have a different last name to me."

"I forgot about that." Izzie said thoughtfully.

"I didn't know about that."Cristina commented, "Anyway do we get the story?"

"Yeah Mer, there has to be a story."

"It's not that interesting." Meredith told her friends but they pushed and she decided to tell it anyway.

_**FLASHBACK!**_

_Meredith Grey walked in to Mt Sinai Medical Centre and looked around she saw an empty locker and began to put her stuff into it when the occupant of the locker next to her closed his door and stared at his neighbour._

"_Can I help you?" Meredith said looking at the man_

"_Derek Shepherd." He held his hand out and she shook it. He opened his mouth to say more but the resident had already called out Meredith's name and she'd gone. _

_It was later that evening he found himself in bar sat in the corner with his friend Mark, when the door opened and a familiar blond walked in and took a seat at the bar she ordered some kind of shot, Derek wasn't sure what it was, and knocked it back. He smiled, stood and walked over to talk to her._

"_So is this good place to hang out?" He asked casually_

"_Wouldn't know, never been here before." She answered, signalling for another shot._

"_Me neither. I've just mover here. Started a new job, but you know that."_

"_Yeah." Meredith said before downing her shot that the bartender had placed in front of her._

"_Ah you're ignoring me."_

"_Trying to." Meredith smiled._

"_That's not very nice. I'm somebody you have to get to know to love."_

"_So if I know you, I'll love you?" Meredith asked_

"_Yeah, plus it'll make the next year as locker buddies more pleasant."_

_The conversation continued and the next morning Meredith found herself waking up with a very naked Darren (or at least that's what she thought his name was) on the floor._

_**End Flashback!**_

"You married the one night stand? Well no wonder it didn't work." Cristina said sarcastically.

"It was love at first sight." Izzie said happily, "What happened Mer?"

"We dated for a year, were married for five, had two kids, it didn't work, we divorced and I came out here to do my fellowship, met you guys moved on with my life." Meredith stood up and left unwilling to have this conversation any longer.

Meanwhile in his new office Derek was talking to the chief.

"You didn't think to mention when you moved out here, your ex-wife worked at this hospital?"

"I didn't know it was this hospital she worked at." Derek replied.

"Don't be clever Derek, I know you were still married when she applied I accepted Meredith Shepherd and got Meredith Grey."

"Look chief, Meredith and I, we're done. We're civil for our kid's sakes, we can be civil at work. You don't need to worry."

The chief seemed satisfied with his answer and left him alone to stew in his office, his thoughts turned to the night five years ago when his life changed forever.

_**Flashback!**_

"_Meredith, I'm sorry. I know I should've been here to help but it was a big surgery. How many times am I going to cut a brain in half?" _

"_How many times is your son going to have a third birthday party Derek?"_

"_Come on Mer, it's not like I missed the actual birthday!"_

"_Oh no, you didn't miss that. You just missed a three year old asking for his daddy, telling his friends his daddy will be here soon, refusing to blow out the candles because daddy isn't here yet!" She yelled._

"_I'm sorry, Meredith but you know what it's like, you know this was a big surgery this is the kind of surgery you dream of as a resident."_

"_You're right Derek I know exactly what it's like to know that your parent prefers surgery to you!"_

"_That isn't fair Meredith, I'm nothing like your mother."_

"_I'm not sure about that Derek!"_

"_That's uncalled for. You're being ridiculous Meredith, I missed one party."_

"_It's not just this one party though is it. You came home from work and your daughter was sitting up for the first time and you just say, I'll look later, I'm tired or the time..."_

"_It had been a 48 hour shift, I'd been on call. You're over reacting and you know it, this is just stupid." Derek cut her off._

"_Get out." Meredith said quietly._

"_What?" Derek wasn't sure he'd heard her right._

"_I said get out."She wasn't yelling but it was clear she was furious._

"_Where do you expect me to go?" _

"_Anywhere, how about the hospital, everybody knows you prefer that to us."_

"_That isn't fair Meredith."_

"_I don't care. I don't want you in my home or near my children right now I need you to leave." She walked to the bedroom and closed the door. _

"_Fine I'll go!" Derek turned around and walked out of the apartment, slamming the door on the way_

_Meredith took a few deep breaths before realising throwing him out wasn't her brightest move and ran to the door throwing it open only to find her husband had already gone and was nowhere to be found._

_The next day she waited for him at work and he never showed, it continued for a few days and after a phone call to his mother, and a conversation with Mark she was no closer to finding him. Which is why after a week she went to their bar in the hope that he'd be here, she saw him kissing another woman. _

_When Derek returned to work the next day he found a large manila envelope with divorce papers inside and a note from Meredith telling him she was taking the Seattle Fellowship and the kids with her and it was pointless to try and stop her, she'd already got a temporary custody order and would be on a plane that afternoon._

_**End Flashback!**_

TBC...

A/N not great I know I'm just interested in the feedback and whether people are interested, don't worry things will get better for MerDer and the writing isn't all that good, but due to the weather in the UK I spent over four days trying to get home and I'm tired.


	2. Back For Good

A/N Well "FAIL" (a rather charming reviewer) for the record I'm not some "12-15 year old kid" and I'm sure as hell less juvenile than you, I respect your views (and the balls it takes to post an anonymous review like that) but who are you to say who is a true MerDer fan and who isn't. But Apart from that I'd like to thank everybody for the reviews and I'm glad that people are interested (for the record I don't mind negative reviews I like constructive criticism but that one was just cruel). This chapter looks at Meredith and Derek's current relationship, enjoy!

Just in case you get confused (because I did and I'm writing it):

Meredith and Derek have known each other 11 years, together for six. They have two kids their son is 8 and their daughter is 5.

**Back For Good**

Meredith sat in the driveway of her house and took a deep breath today had not been the best of days, still she was home now, time to see her kids and put this day out of her way. What she didn't notice was the unfamiliar car parked in front of her house. She turned the key in the door.

"Dan, Beth! I'm home." Meredith yelled as she dropped her purse by the door.

Anna the babysitter came around the corner. "I'm sorry Dr Grey, he just showed up. You didn't say anything about him picking the kids up so I didn't get them ready, but they saw him so I let him in and he said he wanted to talk. I'm really sorry if I did something wrong, but they were so excited when their dad showed up."

"Derek's here?" Meredith asked, she felt herself getting angry all over again. "Don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong."

She went to the lounge, where she could hear the sounds of laughter coming from her children and a distinctly male voice.

"Mommy look it's daddy he came to visit!" Beth, Meredith's five year old daughter said happily from the knee of her father.

"Derek can I have a word?" Meredith said trying to remain calm.

"Sure." He picked up his daughter and put on her on the couch. "I'll be back princess and then you can finish telling me your story."

He followed Meredith in to the kitchen, where she turned on him as soon as he'd shut the door behind him. "You're meant to tell me when you're visiting the kids Derek."

"No, that's where you're wrong, I'm meant to tell you when I'm taking them out of the state."

"I'm not in the mood for this Derek, you move across the country to work in the same hospital as me and you don't think it's appropriate to tell me?" Meredith was trying her best not to yell.

"I just didn't want to." Derek smiled and tilted his head to the side.

"Seriously? The head tilt thing, you're flirting with me! Seriously?"

"You're always pretty when you get angry." Derek tried.

"What do you think has changed in the last five years Derek?" Meredith couldn't believe it, why was he picking this fight now.

"I'm not sure what changed five years ago." Derek's tone changed from light and flirty to a more serious one.

"What changed Derek, is, you. You went from being this really attentive husband and then you were gone, hardly home, when you were it was like you were never here."

"I was trying to do something, trying to be a better doctor."

"Well you sacrificed us and became what I've spent my entire career trying to avoid." Meredith hissed at him.

"Well throwing me out was hardly the way to make your point." Derek snapped

"Kissing another woman in the bar was hardly the way to save our marriage."

"What?" Derek was confused; he never kissed another woman whilst they were married. Then he remembered.

_**Flashback!**_

_Derek was nursing the scotch at the bar, when a woman sauntered over to him._

"_Is this seat taken?" She asked_

"_No, go ahead." He nodded to the seat and went back to his scotch._

"_You don't look happy."_

"_I pissed off my wife and she threw me out." He threw back the scotch in his glass and ordered another one._

"_What kind of woman would throw a man like you out?" She rested her hand on his thigh_

"_The kind who marries an ass who forgets his kid's birthday." Derek shifted uncomfortably._

"_That's why I never had them." She moved closer to Derek._

_He pushed away "I'm married."_

"_Sounds like it's over to me" _

"_I love my wife!" Derek slammed his glass down_

"_That's a shame." The woman stood up "When you realise that when a woman kicks you out she generally doesn't want to let you back in." She placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on his lips._

_**End Flashback!**_

"That night in the bar? A week after you threw me out." Derek said more to himself than to Meredith. "She kissed me."

Meredith laughed sarcastically "Yeah, I'm sure that's what Mark said when Addison's first husband caught them."

Derek opened his mouth to counter when Meredith cut him off. "Well Derek this trip down memory lane has been fun but I'm not really in the mood for this."

Meredith left the kitchen only to be greeted by her son. "Dad said he lives in the wood on Bainbridge Island."

"Really?" Meredith asked trying to sound calmer than she had in the kitchen.

"Yeah, he said he'd take me fishing there." Dan shuffled his feet. "I don't have school and I finished all my homework, you can ask Anna."

"Danny..."

"Please Mom? We haven't seen dad for ages." His blue eyes met Meredith's. She'd never been able to say no when they were Derek's eyes asking.

"What about Beth?" Meredith asked.

"She can come too! She likes to fish." Meredith chuckled, Bethany Shepherd had more Grey in her than Dan did and there was no way she liked fishing. Icky was the word she used to describe it.

"Well, if your dad says its ok then I guess you can go." She hadn't even finished her sentence before Dan had rushed off to find his dad and ask.

Later that evening, Meredith had packed the kids in to Derek's car, called Cristina who had turned her down because Owen was feeling deprived of any girlfriend time. So it came as a surprise to herself that she found herself dialling the number of a guy she'd met at Joe's.

"Hi Finn?" She paused "It's um...Meredith. Meredith Grey." She paused again so Finn could speak. "Yeah, I'm fine. I was wondering, is it too late to take you up on that offer of dinner?"

**TBC**

Well that wasn't very nice of me now was it?

In retrospect, my previous author's note is a little juvenile, but there are comments and then there are comments (I've left the review on, but only cus it looks like more people are reading my story :p selfish I know).

This is my last update until after Christmas, it wasn't great but it's a filler chapter. So all that's left to say is:

**MERRY CHRISTMAS! **


End file.
